Okay, I'm officially neglecting this blog.
Stuff happens at the tv station every day, I'm just generally so caught up in the moment that I forget to look back on the situation and laugh. And what good is working without laughing at my job? No fun in that.
I've mentioned before that our station features several weekly series, that play on the same days at the same times; just like real tv... only of a public access persuasion. Every six months we have what is called "series renewal". This is the time when I look over our current series and see if producers have met their minimum requirements to maintain a series spot, find out if anyone would like to change the times for their series, and encourage people to begin new series.
Most of our series have been on the channel for several years, and have gone through this every 6 months all along. It still never fails that only a small percentage of our producers manage to 1)know what's going on when they get a letter from me; 2) manage to respond to it in a timely manner 3) dont need any further assistance.
I think the letter I send out is pretty straight forward, it states why I'm sending a letter, covers what the minimum requirements for a series are, and then tells them whether or not they have met them. I give directions on what to do if they would like to continue their series both if they have met the requirements and if they have not. I include all necessary forms in the envelope. I include a deadline.
In the past I'll give people a couple of weeks to bring back the forms, hoping to keep things convenient... I averaged about one fifth of forms returned by the deadline, and about a quarter to a third of them turned in before I started calling and asking people to fill out the forms.
About half of the producers also give back my letter with the forms. I have no explanation for why people think this is logical. When responding to mail do you generally include the original message with your response? I would think this would make having a pen pal rather taxing as far as postage goes.... but when people get mail from me, some of them like to return it.
I then spend about two months getting the rest of the producers to fill out the paper work. Technically I can just stop running their series, but who does that help? so I cal and call and call and call and eventually they respond and act as if it's all news to them, why have I started this new policy?
So this time I tried a new tactic: send them the letter, but only give them a few days for the deadline. That way they have no room for procrastination! It did work better, I got a much better return rate than on any previous series renewal. It's only a week and 3 days since the deadline and I have about half of the forms! A whole 50%! Too bad that's still an F. Maybe I can grade myself on a curve...
Monday, April 7, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Ramblings....
Okay, I've been neglecting the blog.
My job is really quite exasperating, in a comical sort of way, on a nearly daily basis... the exasperating part just sometimes makes it hard to decide what, if anything, is noteworthy enough to write down here...
Like hearing "what would I do without you?". Sometimes I really appreciate it when this phrase leaks from some one's mouth. They genuinely needed help, they came to me with patience and a determination to learn how to do better in the future or stay on track, and are really happy to have received the necessary help. Or they just want to thank me for what I do.
Unfortunately, that's not usually the case. Usually it's the result of someone being too lazy to do something by themselves, someone knowing they dont follow the rules and trying to make me feel better about trying to bend them to what's possible, or a variety creepy old guys being inappropriate.
Okay, it's not fair to leave out the people who are being funny about me unlocking a door or pointing out that they're trying to operate a microphone with no batteries... those are quite amusing.
Or, my personal favorite, "it worked on my stuff at home!". They look so offended, they take it so PERSONALLY. Lets face it, we're a non profit, we dont have the fanciest DVD players or VCRs to encode peoples content onto our server.
And seriously, how do they think that's going to help? If i say the tape or dvd wont play correctly on our equipment, it wont play correctly on our equipment. I need a new one to air your show. What do they think I'm going to say?
"oh that's fabulous, I was just lying to you."
"oh I must be mistaken, those squiggly lines / frozen screen / pixelation / static / lack of audio are on PURPOSE, cause it plays on your equipment at home so it MUST be the same on ours."
"well I'll play it again, and it will magically work this time now that I know you think nothing's wrong with it."
I have the delightful experience of people thinking I'm going to do things for them at a moments notice. If you ask for some dates when a production is possible, and I give them to you, that doesn't mean show up on that day and expect a production. You have to CONFIRM these things people!!
I'm pretty sure that's going to happen to me again tomorrow morning.
Now this one's always funny: "oh the duck lady!" I think she's our most recognizable producer. She's a very nice lady who's a true environmentalist and advocate for our earth and all of its creatures, first of all. BUT, she's really hard to deal with. She tries to get us to do as much of the work as possible rather than retaining the knowledge to operate our equipment... she brought in a lady who is infested with tiny spiders without thinking about how they may spread to the building and / or staff... or even warning us beforehand. She has a pet duck, which looks very cute when it rides on her bicycle, but it's not so cute when she sneaks it into the building where it poops, and then she doesn't clean up after it. She demands entirely too much staff time in general, including marching into staff meetings or conversations with other producers demanding our immediate assistance or attention. A lot of her tapes are old and have been recorded over too many times and look TERRIBLE going out over the air. She tends to turn in about a hundred of them at a time and then get frustrated when I get confused... when something goes wrong with her show she thinks we are censoring her...
But when I talk about public access to people who dont know about it... they know about the duck lady!
some people hate her show... some of the episodes can be pretty graphic... but we get just as many people calling in to thank us for the information.
It's a show and a producer in the true spirit of public access television.
Maybe I'm just missing the boat. I like the people who come in and learn, get excited, need a little help with equipment trouble shooting or policies they're confused about along the way, but stay motivated, make their shows, chat and check in, and are generally pleasant to deal with. I'll trade the einsteins, duck ladies, loud whistlers, self-inflicted technotards, and older men with poor boundaries for a few more of those instead. Please.
My job is really quite exasperating, in a comical sort of way, on a nearly daily basis... the exasperating part just sometimes makes it hard to decide what, if anything, is noteworthy enough to write down here...
Like hearing "what would I do without you?". Sometimes I really appreciate it when this phrase leaks from some one's mouth. They genuinely needed help, they came to me with patience and a determination to learn how to do better in the future or stay on track, and are really happy to have received the necessary help. Or they just want to thank me for what I do.
Unfortunately, that's not usually the case. Usually it's the result of someone being too lazy to do something by themselves, someone knowing they dont follow the rules and trying to make me feel better about trying to bend them to what's possible, or a variety creepy old guys being inappropriate.
Okay, it's not fair to leave out the people who are being funny about me unlocking a door or pointing out that they're trying to operate a microphone with no batteries... those are quite amusing.
Or, my personal favorite, "it worked on my stuff at home!". They look so offended, they take it so PERSONALLY. Lets face it, we're a non profit, we dont have the fanciest DVD players or VCRs to encode peoples content onto our server.
And seriously, how do they think that's going to help? If i say the tape or dvd wont play correctly on our equipment, it wont play correctly on our equipment. I need a new one to air your show. What do they think I'm going to say?
"oh that's fabulous, I was just lying to you."
"oh I must be mistaken, those squiggly lines / frozen screen / pixelation / static / lack of audio are on PURPOSE, cause it plays on your equipment at home so it MUST be the same on ours."
"well I'll play it again, and it will magically work this time now that I know you think nothing's wrong with it."
I have the delightful experience of people thinking I'm going to do things for them at a moments notice. If you ask for some dates when a production is possible, and I give them to you, that doesn't mean show up on that day and expect a production. You have to CONFIRM these things people!!
I'm pretty sure that's going to happen to me again tomorrow morning.
Now this one's always funny: "oh the duck lady!" I think she's our most recognizable producer. She's a very nice lady who's a true environmentalist and advocate for our earth and all of its creatures, first of all. BUT, she's really hard to deal with. She tries to get us to do as much of the work as possible rather than retaining the knowledge to operate our equipment... she brought in a lady who is infested with tiny spiders without thinking about how they may spread to the building and / or staff... or even warning us beforehand. She has a pet duck, which looks very cute when it rides on her bicycle, but it's not so cute when she sneaks it into the building where it poops, and then she doesn't clean up after it. She demands entirely too much staff time in general, including marching into staff meetings or conversations with other producers demanding our immediate assistance or attention. A lot of her tapes are old and have been recorded over too many times and look TERRIBLE going out over the air. She tends to turn in about a hundred of them at a time and then get frustrated when I get confused... when something goes wrong with her show she thinks we are censoring her...
But when I talk about public access to people who dont know about it... they know about the duck lady!
some people hate her show... some of the episodes can be pretty graphic... but we get just as many people calling in to thank us for the information.
It's a show and a producer in the true spirit of public access television.
Maybe I'm just missing the boat. I like the people who come in and learn, get excited, need a little help with equipment trouble shooting or policies they're confused about along the way, but stay motivated, make their shows, chat and check in, and are generally pleasant to deal with. I'll trade the einsteins, duck ladies, loud whistlers, self-inflicted technotards, and older men with poor boundaries for a few more of those instead. Please.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
The Woman Who Knew Too Little...
Caller: "The parent of a child who was once in a play I put on several years ago said they saw her on tv sometime within the last several weeks; can you tell me if a video of my play aired on your station?"
It seems like a simple question. If i worked at a commercial tv station I'm sure it would have been, but I dont, and it wasn't.
L: "We are a public access station; we do not produce anything you see on that station, nor do we assign producers to film certain things or pay the people who put them on. People make their own tv shows at their own discretion and we provide them with an outlet to share them with you and the rest of the community. If you can tell me the day and approximate time it aired I can try and tell you if any of the titles sound like your play, but people can title the shows however they please and it may not help."
Seems simple right? I think I was being as helpful as I could be given the amount of information I had, and expected a polite response... or often a surprised one, most people dont know about public access....
Caller: "Well I dont know when it played; sometime in the last week, or two weeks, or three or even four weeks. Oh and I'm not actually sure it played on your station, it could have been any station in the channel number vicinity of yours, and I'm not even totally sure it played on tv. I just ran into the parents of a child who used to be in a play I once put on who said they saw her on tv in costume."
Her tone is increasingly annoyed. No polite responses from this woman. At least she's not demanding to know why "The View" didn't come on at it's normal time on whatever station it happens to air on and insisting i must know and having very hurt feelings about my refusal to tell her (oh yes, that happened, and somehow they always dial MY extension for some unknown reason...).
L: "Well I'm afraid that with that little information I cant help you; it certainly doesn't sound familiar to me. I can tell you who runs the other local access stations in the channel vicinity of ours, and maybe they will know."
I mean, the woman doesn't even know if it was on our channels... and the numbers she was naming to me I KNEW it couldn't possibly have played on; those being government and bulletin channels.
Caller: "Are you saying that you guys just have no idea what's playing on your station and no way to look it up? It was a play, why cant you just look for it?"
Such simple logic no? I mean.... how hard can it be?
L: "Of course we have an idea of what's playing, but none of us sit and watch every show from beginning to end, our producers sign contracts saying they are following the rules, and we believe them. We'll see bits and pieces of a show while we process it, but no one has turned in a show about a play anytime in the last week or so, and that's about as far back as I can remember specific shows. And as for it being a play, plays are a very popular thing for people to film and turn in, and we'll often run them in empty spaces for years after they're initially turned in. If i had a specific day to work with I could go through the titles and see if any of them sound like they might be of a play, but even if i went and looked through a list of all 24 hours of programming for the last month, chances are I wouldn't recognize the title of the show your play may or may not have been in... if it was indeed played on our channel."
It goes on... and on.... and on and on and on and on... but mostly it's repetitive. The woman tells me in a new way that a show with her in it may or may not have aired and wants specific information; I tell her why I cant give it to her and make several suggestions of how she can look online at what we have played and see if any of it sounds familiar. She gets very pissy, rude, condescending and upset about it.
Then, always my favorite, "give me the contact information for those other stations and who I should talk to."
So matter of fact, so sure that I have the answers. Complimentary, I guess it should be, that people somehow assume me omniscient in all things cable and / or television related; but mostly I find it to be an extreme lack of logical thought on their part.
L: "Those are completely different tv stations, we dont work with them in any way, they are their own separate companies."
Makes sense right? If you were talking to the teller at the bank, would you ask them, with all confidence that they have the answer, 'give me the contact information for a credit union 3 states over; you all work with people's money'? No. Of course not. That wouldn't make sense.
People dont seem to see the connection (or should I say lack of connections?) when it comes to television. Oh no, she wasn't the first.
Caller: "But they're right next to you on cable, and you're all local tv stations."
Totally oblivious
L: "We dont have any of their information, they are a different company."
I think this job makes me entirely too patient in repeating myself as if it will make since on a second, third, or fourth utterance.
Caller: "Well where do I find the, like, database online for all of the local Monterey channels."
The internet. Of course! They've thought of everything on the internet!
L: "There isn't one that I know of."
******Gasp******
At this point the caller decides that I must be a complete idiot. And so she impatiently asks me all the same questions yet again in about 10 different ways, and remains displeased with my answers.
Do I get to say "Dont you have any idea if you've been filmed by someone who wants to put you on a tv station?" Or: "Well you were in a play, dont you know about all of the plays that air on tv?"
No.
I dont get to be as sarcastic as these people deserve. I have to be nice and attempt to continue to be helpful until they hang up and get off the phone!
I have decided: whenever an illogical and agitated person calls comcast and wants to know the answer to a question that any normal person would know they cant answer, there's a simple conclusion that comes to mind...
"I'm speaking to an illogical weirdo... better give them the phone number to the public access station."
I cant even be mad about it; I'm sure that 2/3 of the times that happens... they're probably right!
But how do they get MY extension? Why does it have to be ME?
Did I cut off one of the workers at comcast in traffic? Perhaps unknowingly take the seat they were eyeing at the movie theater? Or the best looking onion in the produce department just before they got to that display?
If so I'm deeply sorry and will apologise given the opportunity, and provide them with the extension for our general voice mail. The callers will still be crazy: the message will be forwarded to my inbox. But then I can try to call at an odd time of day and leave them a brief message and then screen my calls in case they call back. Like a normal person.
It seems like a simple question. If i worked at a commercial tv station I'm sure it would have been, but I dont, and it wasn't.
L: "We are a public access station; we do not produce anything you see on that station, nor do we assign producers to film certain things or pay the people who put them on. People make their own tv shows at their own discretion and we provide them with an outlet to share them with you and the rest of the community. If you can tell me the day and approximate time it aired I can try and tell you if any of the titles sound like your play, but people can title the shows however they please and it may not help."
Seems simple right? I think I was being as helpful as I could be given the amount of information I had, and expected a polite response... or often a surprised one, most people dont know about public access....
Caller: "Well I dont know when it played; sometime in the last week, or two weeks, or three or even four weeks. Oh and I'm not actually sure it played on your station, it could have been any station in the channel number vicinity of yours, and I'm not even totally sure it played on tv. I just ran into the parents of a child who used to be in a play I once put on who said they saw her on tv in costume."
Her tone is increasingly annoyed. No polite responses from this woman. At least she's not demanding to know why "The View" didn't come on at it's normal time on whatever station it happens to air on and insisting i must know and having very hurt feelings about my refusal to tell her (oh yes, that happened, and somehow they always dial MY extension for some unknown reason...).
L: "Well I'm afraid that with that little information I cant help you; it certainly doesn't sound familiar to me. I can tell you who runs the other local access stations in the channel vicinity of ours, and maybe they will know."
I mean, the woman doesn't even know if it was on our channels... and the numbers she was naming to me I KNEW it couldn't possibly have played on; those being government and bulletin channels.
Caller: "Are you saying that you guys just have no idea what's playing on your station and no way to look it up? It was a play, why cant you just look for it?"
Such simple logic no? I mean.... how hard can it be?
L: "Of course we have an idea of what's playing, but none of us sit and watch every show from beginning to end, our producers sign contracts saying they are following the rules, and we believe them. We'll see bits and pieces of a show while we process it, but no one has turned in a show about a play anytime in the last week or so, and that's about as far back as I can remember specific shows. And as for it being a play, plays are a very popular thing for people to film and turn in, and we'll often run them in empty spaces for years after they're initially turned in. If i had a specific day to work with I could go through the titles and see if any of them sound like they might be of a play, but even if i went and looked through a list of all 24 hours of programming for the last month, chances are I wouldn't recognize the title of the show your play may or may not have been in... if it was indeed played on our channel."
It goes on... and on.... and on and on and on and on... but mostly it's repetitive. The woman tells me in a new way that a show with her in it may or may not have aired and wants specific information; I tell her why I cant give it to her and make several suggestions of how she can look online at what we have played and see if any of it sounds familiar. She gets very pissy, rude, condescending and upset about it.
Then, always my favorite, "give me the contact information for those other stations and who I should talk to."
So matter of fact, so sure that I have the answers. Complimentary, I guess it should be, that people somehow assume me omniscient in all things cable and / or television related; but mostly I find it to be an extreme lack of logical thought on their part.
L: "Those are completely different tv stations, we dont work with them in any way, they are their own separate companies."
Makes sense right? If you were talking to the teller at the bank, would you ask them, with all confidence that they have the answer, 'give me the contact information for a credit union 3 states over; you all work with people's money'? No. Of course not. That wouldn't make sense.
People dont seem to see the connection (or should I say lack of connections?) when it comes to television. Oh no, she wasn't the first.
Caller: "But they're right next to you on cable, and you're all local tv stations."
Totally oblivious
L: "We dont have any of their information, they are a different company."
I think this job makes me entirely too patient in repeating myself as if it will make since on a second, third, or fourth utterance.
Caller: "Well where do I find the, like, database online for all of the local Monterey channels."
The internet. Of course! They've thought of everything on the internet!
L: "There isn't one that I know of."
******Gasp******
At this point the caller decides that I must be a complete idiot. And so she impatiently asks me all the same questions yet again in about 10 different ways, and remains displeased with my answers.
Do I get to say "Dont you have any idea if you've been filmed by someone who wants to put you on a tv station?" Or: "Well you were in a play, dont you know about all of the plays that air on tv?"
No.
I dont get to be as sarcastic as these people deserve. I have to be nice and attempt to continue to be helpful until they hang up and get off the phone!
I have decided: whenever an illogical and agitated person calls comcast and wants to know the answer to a question that any normal person would know they cant answer, there's a simple conclusion that comes to mind...
"I'm speaking to an illogical weirdo... better give them the phone number to the public access station."
I cant even be mad about it; I'm sure that 2/3 of the times that happens... they're probably right!
But how do they get MY extension? Why does it have to be ME?
Did I cut off one of the workers at comcast in traffic? Perhaps unknowingly take the seat they were eyeing at the movie theater? Or the best looking onion in the produce department just before they got to that display?
If so I'm deeply sorry and will apologise given the opportunity, and provide them with the extension for our general voice mail. The callers will still be crazy: the message will be forwarded to my inbox. But then I can try to call at an odd time of day and leave them a brief message and then screen my calls in case they call back. Like a normal person.
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